THE MOMENT THAT STOOD OUT

If I was asked to pick out one moment that stood out to me on my first mission’s trip I would be flooded with many memories to choose from. Hum and haw and then narrow it down to this moment that I would define as remarkable.

My group was in a city center courtyard in Costa Rica. Up to this point we had been fulfilling the schedule our leaders had created in collaboration with our Costa Rican representatives to widen our influence while targeting the needs of the people. We gathered together as a group to wait for our instruction. (Now remember, I joined my team on a whim. They took a risk on me and me on them. I did not attend their church. So we were both saying yes to strangers. My yes to this trip was based on my gut feeling when my client suggested it to me and how quickly and effortlessly things came together to join them last minute. It seemed like a no brainer to join. I was unfamiliar with their lingo, eager to learn to feel like I fit in (those were my issues), but it also needs to be communicated that I had an open heart and because of my church upbringing I believed that God was real but had not had a personal experience up to this point to solidify my beliefs. I was on this trip to seek mending for my broken heart). Our leader said to enjoy our time here. Your instructions for this time is for you each to ask God for his direction and guidance, stay in the courtyard and we will meet up in an hour… Ummm, what??? I stood there confused starring at her. To break the possibly awkward stare I was giving her since we were not playing the starring contest game, I blinked and looked around to see my team scatter the courtyard like they understood what she instructed. I was full of emotion, I didn’t make time to identify them, I just approached my leader to ask her again about what she said. She repeated it. I responded with the question, “People talk to God? What do you mean?” I was curious, confused and weirded out. She began to explain to me that people have an inner voice, their conscience, a nudge or however someone personally would describe what it is for them when they experience the higher power connecting with them. Everyone has it, it is just knowing to recognize what it is for each individual. Even though hearing this was foreign for me I understood. Something clicked. I was flooded with memories of moments in my life where I could recall God being a part of. Moments I had just knowing what to do, or being prepared for something because of having insight of what’s ahead. I never connected that this was the higher power connecting with me. I was flooded with joy of this understanding and was in awe of the amount of memories I had. It is so hard for me to describe this moment. It is important to me to share because it’s genuine awe of the lightbulb turning on to the many God moments I had experienced previous to this moment connecting with them and now understanding and seeing that I was never alone. The warmth that filled my insides from just below my heart to my throat rose tears to my eyes that welled up and streamed down my face. I nodded to my leader and turned to sit on a bench to take a moment. I don’t remember asking God for direction within that hour that was set aside for us to do that. I just remember me sitting on that bench smiling and making eye contact with people passing by but my focus was all on what was going on inside me. My connection and realization with each memory that was entering my mind was connecting to my heart in a way that truly was remarkable and life changing. I had said a genuine prayer to invite Jesus into my heart when I was 13, but this moment was where I had met my God and identified his love and friendship that was undeniably real and solidified for me.